Saturday, February 12, 2011

Collage Continued

So I am posting the picture and narrative of my collage so that you know what the fuck I was trying to do. This is an assignment for school! So there is some stuff in there about school and directed to the teacher. I dont know why I only do such things when I have assignments, I wish I did them on a regular basis. Well here goes!

















Life Collage

            Believe me when I say that I had never done a collage that I liked until I managed to do this one. Throughout my school years I would get the Collage assignment in my arts classes and did average, the usual poorly-cut-messy-glued-on magazine ads on a piece of paper that managed to get me a passing grade. Now that I think back I can’t really say I was the artistic person during those years. But times changed and so did I. This collage is how I see the world. I started out with an old black binder that I must have had since I was in seventh grade, hidden somewhere in the closet. This binder has no value to me except that it reminds me of school and who I was, so I decided to keep it, to see when I would use it. I stashed it away in the closet, recycled, for maybe one day it would still serve me. This binder has one side nearly ripped from the-whatever it’s called that unites it to the other side. I thought, “I can’t turn this in like this, its halfway coming off”. I bound it together with some sort of masking tape, hell, at first I tried stapling the flap together, but that didn’t work. So I am sorry if you get a cut with some staple around there. I also managed to deface the already disfigured flap by ripping out the plastic cover out of anger, because the damn staples wouldn’t go through. So with the canvas “ready” I went to work. I stared at the binder for nearly two hours while I tried to think in silence what I could do with it, that didn’t work. So I thought I should take my mind off of it for a few seconds, I cleaned out my work station from old papers of the last semester while listening to some music. In this soon to be trash I discovered my old anatomy workbook; here I picked out the diagram of the human brain. I had a brain now and an idea of where I was going which brought me to placing the image of the earth on the brain. Well, before that, I unconsciously pasted the earth on the binder, five minutes later I remember about the brain and had to cut part of the carton along with the earth from the surface. The earth inside the brain is a symbol for what I believe sometimes our universe is like. It is my own metaphysical explanation to our universe; I sometimes believe that your own mind is the universe, each mind make up our reality. 115 Million Of minds are what the universe is made up, (this is the approximate number of all the human beings that have existed on this planet since the planet has existed). Of course this is a monistic view that does not fully explain some things in the universe. Soon after this I hit the wall again; I did not know what else to do. As I was becoming angry I went into the old habits and found myself looking through old magazines that I had collected over the years. I came out with my older brother’s collection of Maxim, FHM, and Lowrider Magazine along with some other magazines. In a European Car Magazine I discovered the “Hold on tight. Then let yourself go” ad and felt relief. This ad was for a Jaguar or some other fancy car like that and it featured the five holes on the page with the shift stick on the other side and I thought it was just perfect for what I had in mind. This ad came hand in hand with what I envisioned; our world. In a materialistic world where nothing matters more than riches and whatnot, this ad spoke of it. It is Buddha that professes the truth that suffering comes from unearthly desires. And it is Karl Marx with his ideals that warns humanity of the fetishism of commodities. When I see this handle for ones hand in an ad for an expensive car it brings me the vision of the millions of human beings who have and will die in the name for a false ideal. We have, for too long, given priority to everything that holds no real value to our nature, we have become alienated of our own and in doing so we have given no real value to human beings. Like this ad says, we hold on tight all of your lives only to let go of all these material things when we die. We should, instead, accumulate goods for the soul; the intellect, ideas that we can hold on tight to and never let go even until our bodies decay. After this crude reality I strove forward to portray the act of new life as naturally as I could. I used wooden matches to portray the sperm painted with red, with the exception of one. This one sperm is Hegel’s “Super-Man” he is the one that does not follow the herd, he is the thinker; the one. This sperm is actually reading the message of “Hold on tight...” and is actually thinking about its message, even if it means losing the race to exist. The other sperms are covered in red, blood, while the other is clean and intact. The material the match is a tricky one; it is a potential fire, a potential destruction, but it is also potential for light, potential warmth; these are lives good and bad. The pawns came next, this image I found in an FHM magazine which was also an ad for a car. This to me represents the logic that is life. Pawns, the everyday person, must be the ones to be sacrificed, while the higher powered pieces stand back in commodity waiting for a direct attack from one of the same or higher status. You barely see a pawn checkmate, for this is evident in both life and game. After this, came the tower of death, it is what it is. This image from a Mexican Car magazine is really an oil refinery sucking the earth’s resources. The image alone speaks for itself; in this scenario sucking from the brain, exploiting the mind of its resources. For millions of years brilliant minds have been lobotomized, voices silenced, and ideas destroyed; this represents the death of it all. I thought that this destruction was necessary for the balance of the message that is in this collage. It is with this same idea that I came upon the syringes stabbing into the brain. The brain, once intact, is now savagely penetrated and corrupted with money. Finally, as a proper welcome sign I included the “Now Entering the Universe” sign. At this point, the collage still did not feel finished so I went on and took a little time off. I tried to think again why this image did not seem complete and I knew a little bit of me was needed. I painted the remaining spaces black and filled them in with yellow, white, and red small dots watered-down a bit for a natural look. Now I had to fill the remaining spaces with something of my own, so I considered something simple and close to me. I wrote down on notepads some of the songs that I had been listening to as I was doing this collage. I wrote down “Jump in the Fire”, “Damage Inc.”, all by Metallica close to the Tower of Death for their vision of the evil forces. “Orion” by Metallica followed and was placed in the dark starry realm of space. On the brain I posted “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne for its message of hope for people in the world. Along with the sperms I posted “Do the Evolution” by Pearl Jam for its portrayal of human existence in both the music video and lyrics. On the “Hold on tight…” ad I placed “Wake Up” by Rage Against the Machine for its call to attention for everyone; that we should realize what we hold on to. On the top right corner I posted more songs that speak of truths. I have “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder, a song which calls to an end of false beliefs. There is also “Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin, a song about liberation from everything that obscures the mind. And last but not least I have The Doors with “People are Strange”, this song sums up what human relations have come to. Together, all these symbols create a picture,almost an animation for what I see in life. This is life through my eyes in a collage.



Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Collage Help

Hey you, you who are reading this. Do you believe in coincidences? In the work of something beyond us? Sometimes called destiny? I cant say I did, but notice that I said "did", past-tense. Well, I really dont know what it is but it sure is something I cant explain. Yesterday was a day I sure wont forget, ever. I woke up, did my usual routine; logged on the computer to see that I had two projects coming up very shortly to which immediately went into berserk-mode. I started on a collage project that I have to do for my art appreciation class. So I got the materials went to work, after about three or four hours I was stuck and I didnt seem to have inspiration. I just wasnt flowing anymore, it didnt seem smooth. I was happy with what I had but I sure was not finished, so I decided to get inspired. I went online to see what I could find, to get my "feel". Listened to some Metallica, some Iron Butterfly, some Pantera, a little bit of everything if you will. There I was, still couldnt come to think about the project. Well, I decided I would go to Omegle, the random chat site which i barely frequent. First chat click and there I was with some stranger chatting. Now, I will paste the chat log of this conversation to let you know about this experience I had. In the first part I was a bit skeptic as to who I was chatting with. I thought it might be a computer, or a "bot". So here goes....


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey
Stranger: hey
You: i need some help
Stranger: perhaps i could help
You: yea
You: i hope
You: so ive got this little collage im trying to accomplish
You: and I need some damn inspiration
You: lets talk about life
Stranger: ok, lets talk about life
You: so who are you?
Stranger: i don't know, i could tell you my name but its not me just a name, would worth it?
You: what would you like to be named?
You: im asking about you
You: not the name you got :)
Stranger: then i guess i don't want to have a name
You: okay stranger
You: so how has your day been?
Stranger: tiring, everything that regularly happens has happened again, same people, same bullshit, but it rained
Stranger: yours?
You: well here the sun is out, its chilly, clear sky, strong winds..Good day to be alive
You: I have been trying to get this collage done
You: the theme, is life
Stranger: thats difficult
You: yea ive got some metallica playing at the same time
You: trying to get the gears in the head working
You: so tell me what do you do in a day like today?
Stranger: usually i'm online for a while to read e-mails but today got bored
Stranger: then i go watch some movie i've downloaded and read, even study
Stranger: you?
You: me? wake up, masturbate, watch some depressing sad news, walk the dog, start to study, stay on until i feel like i have accomplished something, go to the chive.com log off and then go work
Stranger: oh yeah, working..
Stranger: so what exactly is this collage? i mean i can't imagine right
You: okay its about 10.5 x 8
You: its got so far
You: a human brain
You: in this brain the image of the planet earth
You: its got several matchstick sperms going towards it
You: to the left its got an ad i got from a mag that says "Hold on tight. Then let yourself go." it has five holes that pretend to be handles for your fingers
You: ive got a picture of a chess board
You: thats what ive got so far
Stranger: i wish i could see it, seems fascinating
You: it sounds nice
You: i just wish i was better at arranging it
You: and putting a little more
You: ive got fire in my head
Stranger: it's already pretty interesting and it's not even done yet...
You: i want to put that there but i have the matchstick
You: i dont know
You: it doesnt feel done you know?
Stranger: yeah, i sure know
You: im very sloppy and rough with art i cant seem fine and clean
Stranger: i did something kinda similar last year, it was pictures of models who are already dead, like the 70's mixed with chairs, grapes and buildings
Stranger: my mom doesnt really like it
You: ohh sounds nice
You: ha why?
Stranger: seriously, its not really nice at the first time
Stranger: but i like it, because they look pretty natural, i mean, their faces
Stranger: they dont want to be beautiful, they just are
Stranger: nowadays, they are all desperate
You: yea i get you
You: reminds me of a poem
You: if only i could remember
You: it
You: its
You: about this woman that died and is inside her casket
You: and the narrator is talking about how all of her life the woman tried to be beautiful
You: to fit the standards
You: finally, at death she is beautiful
Stranger: oh just like that tom waits song! " and now shes dead, shes do dead...shes dead and lovely now.."
Stranger: so*
You: havent heard it...
You: but yea i just figured i have life in the collage but not death
You: im thinking a skeleton
Stranger: i want to see it, perhaps you could take a pic?
Stranger: i'm not curious, but now i feel like i am
You: haha
You: okay
You: let me take a pic
Stranger: oh thank you!
You: kay it will be a sec
Stranger: thats ok, i'm here
Stranger: its taking an eternity haha
You: haha
You: sorry
Stranger: nnah, that's ok, did it work?
You: yea
You: im uploading it
You: ive got the poem i was telling you about right now
Stranger: Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
Stranger: thank you, its pretty cool
You: is it somehow like the song?
You: flickr is taking its fucking time
Stranger: the song is a bit different but i guess death is always the same
You: done!
You: well not the damn collage
You: it needs work
Stranger: =)
You: i need something dark on it
Stranger: show me show me show me show me
You: ha well i dont know what
You: death, night, something else
You: i want to label the numbers on the brain picture
Stranger: show me because thats like a torment, i need to see it
You: see what?
Stranger: the picture
You: i had posted the link earlier
Stranger: yes you have, i didnt see, sorry
You: haha
Stranger: they do look like sperms
You: haha YES!
You: ive got one wandering off, looking at the picture
You: with message
You: to me its sort of like the different being
You: the one who thinks
You: the ubermunchen
Stranger: i see something different, i guess its because this weird phase of my life but, i see more like you have nothing because you are everything
Stranger: like you don't have a table because you are the table and the walls, and the birds whatever
Stranger: you know, the brain and the earth
You: damn, your words got to my life!
You: im sort of in the same
You: i never thought of it like that
You: maybe its the soul speaking thru the art of how i really feel
You: ive got so many things i do and i dont feel like i am destined for one
You: thanks
Stranger: it sure is the art speaking
Stranger: i think a lot about that, in fact, i'm writing about it but it has been hard
Stranger: its looong story..
You: damn you left me speechless
You: i write too you know
You: in a damn blog that nobody visits :0
Stranger: hahahha me too!
Stranger: but thats ok, i write just to take it out of my brain anyways
Stranger: now, this thing i told you, i told myself i would try harder and be serious about it
Stranger: so i intend to finish it
Stranger: and it will take suffering
You: ohh man
You: i write about things in my life, sort of like a diary?
You: i dont know
Stranger: could you show me?
You: sure
Stranger: thank you
You: ha
Stranger: oh spanish?
Stranger: oh also spanish
You: english and spanish
You: there is some in english and some in spanish
Stranger: yeah, now i noticed, i liked that
You: u know spanish?
Stranger: not much, some words i can undertand because i don't really speak english
Stranger: i speak portuguese
Stranger: understand*
You: ohh that is cool
Stranger: so i'm reading you now David
You: yes, thats me name
Stranger: They had forgotten that these people were just like anyone else, a human being, a spirit, a force. The generations came and went, with this a bigger population. The silence that was instilled in the sad, terrorized, faces of the slaves slowly but surely became into a whisper, a murmur, and gradually into a voice. The silence was broken forever, the giant awoke. What had always been there became evident. They were here and there. And just as sparks of wild fire spread here and there flying up in the air carried with the wind; the African American had stood up
Stranger: this is beautiful!
You: your going to make me cry!
Stranger: whys that?
Stranger: i'm following you
You: nobody had read my stuff
You: where are you from? if you speak portugese?
Stranger: brazil, são paulo
You: ohh cool
You: i mostly write about music
You: but there are days that demand to be written about other things
You: you write in english or portuguese?
Stranger: portuguese mostly, once i wrote something in english but don't know where it is now, i'll look for it
You: ohh okay, im going to have to learn portuguese to read you
Stranger: hahaha
You: :)
Stranger: when i found it, you're gonna be the first one to read it
Stranger: since its in a paper somewhere
You: okay thanks
You: how do you know english?
Stranger: i decided to study it
You: ohh and you are doing well!
Stranger: but i like languages in general
You: you know what is a very interesting language?
You: sign language
You: for deaf people
You: i studied it
Stranger: hahahaha i cant believe it, thats a coincidence
Stranger: i was searching for that right now
Stranger: in fact, you are the coincidence since i'm never online and then you exist tonight when i am
You: really?
Stranger: life scares me
You: haha yes
You: haha its weird
You: speechless again : )
Stranger: you don't have to say anything, you're the first human being i'm actually talking to in three weeks, and i'm not even talking, i'm typing!
You: haha
You: yes!
You: why is that so? you havent spoke to anyone in three weeks?
Stranger: i'm a mission, like i kinda told you before
You: ohh
You: i wanted to try that before
Stranger: i need to write about the truth of things, about the meaning of everything around me, because sometimes i do feel like i am everything and i need to prove i'm not insane, still i need a time apart from world
Stranger: so all i do is mostly read and write, like i mission
You: yes i see
You: have you studied philosophy?
Stranger: i don't want, i need to be someone better, for that, understanding and suffering
You: filosofia
Stranger: a little bit
Stranger: like thoreau did
You: it is filled with people like you, that go on a mission
Stranger: and mostly of them got some answer, i hope i'll understand something...
Stranger: but it's a long long long story
You: oh yes, long story
You: you think you will find an answer?
Stranger: i don't know for sure, i think it's more like transcendence
Stranger: you feel, the words come..
You: yea
You: i have a friend
You: that wrote something about the origin of life
You: you want to read? it is loooong
Stranger: yes i do, i may not read now but i sure will, everything i can read about will be interesting
Stranger: thanks again
You: we study together
You: we formed a philosophy club here in our university
Stranger: how old are you, Dave?
You: 20
Stranger: oh you're a child =)
You: u?
Stranger: 18
Stranger: hahaha ok not funny
You: haha why?
Stranger: i was kidding
You: haha okay
Stranger: and hey
Stranger: you know i will lose you forever, right?
You: i dont think so
You: you are now living in this instant, in my imagination
You: even if you were not real
You: i have you forever in my mind
You: in words
You: that is all i need : )
Stranger: that was beautiful
Stranger: i don't wanna lose you, i wanna add you, thats ok if you don't want to and also i may not be online as often as i wish but i could try to be
You: thats cool
You: i wanna add you
Stranger: ok, thats my msn: "I will leave this out ; ) "
You: okay!
You: got it
Stranger: mostly because i need to see your collage finished
Stranger: :)
You: haha
You: yes, i completely forgot about it
You: now i know what i need to put in it
Stranger: and what is it?
You: well, i guess you will have to see it at the end? ; )
Stranger: oh...ok, i guess i can control myself untill there
Stranger: haha
You: yes
You: what time is it in brazil?
Stranger: 21:56
You: here it is 17:57
Stranger: huge difference!
Stranger: the sky is all black
Stranger: no starts, no wind
Stranger: stars*
Stranger: theres some red far away
Stranger: what about there?
You: here there is light still
You: it is blue sky
Stranger: a good day to be alive
You: yes indeed!
You: i hate not seeing stars
You: when i was a kid in my country i could see the stars at night and many other things
Stranger: now you can't?
You: not here in this country
You: i live in US
Stranger: where are you from?
You: mexico
Stranger: oh cool!
You: yes
You: you have lived in brazil all your life?
Stranger: yes i have
Stranger: in the same city
You: ohh you feel like sometimes running from it?
You: i know i do here
Stranger: sometimes i do
Stranger: but then i thought that the funny thing about feeling lost and sad is that you can be lost and sad everywhere
You: feeling sad and lonely?
You: you are saying that you can feel like that anywhere? yea, i agree
Stranger: yes, thats it
You: i was going to say something but i forgot
You: haha
Stranger: haha
You: i was going to say
You: that if you believe in reincarnation?
Stranger: i do believe
You: my friend was saying about instances in life when you feel like you know someone from somewhere even though you have met them for the first time
You: or when you feel like deja vu
You: or you have a connection with someone
Stranger: yeah, these are things that makes sense not manking sence
Stranger: making*
You: well he wrote about these things
You: that in past life you knew this person
Stranger: i like to think someday i'll meet someone who probably have alread met me
Stranger: it would be easier to talk
Stranger: and the eyes would say much, i'm too lazy to say things
You: that if you feel like you in this life you have to search for answers, for something else
You: that this will probably be your last life before you return to the place where your soul will stay
You: i like this vision
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: i'm totally screwd
You: haha why?
Stranger: i am this person who need to find something else
Stranger: and in 18 years i haven't
Stranger: oh my god
You: naa
You: you have much more time
You: you have lives to do so
You: rome was not conquered in one day
Stranger: but, i'll die and...and i'm scared!
You: which is beautiful because you get to do life again
You: to do new things
You: to improve
You: you can, in one life, advance a lot
You: come back, if you have to, and finish
Stranger: but Dave, i'm doing this because i want to live a truthful life, i want to be pure, never lie, respecting myself and controling the wild feelings
Stranger: the problems is that the world doesnt help
Stranger: and in the next life
Stranger: it will get worse!
You: i feel the same, but you have to have hope that it will be better
You: i know i feel like letting loose sometimes
You: and i do
You: and it feels horrible
You: because you go against your morale
You: and then you say again, i will try, and then again you do the same
You: but you can do it
Stranger: will you try again and not give up?
You: well, anything that is natural to human beings cannot be entirely wrong
You: i try everyday
You: and small steps do it
You: but it is better to be conscious of your life and know that you can do better than to not know
Stranger: you are right, cannot be entirely wrong
You: there is an old hindu story
You: about a god who visited earth to see what life was like in earth
You: he took the form of a pig
You: and was happy living in earth
You: he had food to eat
You: place to stay
You: family
You: he had everything
You: he eventually forgot that he was a god
You: that he had come to the world only to experience life on earth
You: he did not want to come back
You: and his fellow friends in the heavens, other gods, wanted him to remember
You: that he was not a pig
You: that he had to come back, to come to his true form
You: but the god did not want because he loved his new life
You: he was killed one day and returned to the heavens
You: there, he still missed his good life
You: but knew that he was not living like he was supposed to
You: he was happy to experience that life
You: moral of the story
You: is that just like him, the gods, we forget about our purpose, of our origins with all the good things here, but eventually we can and will remember
Stranger: that is the most beautiful story i've ever heard
Stranger: i mean, read
Stranger: and its so real and sad
You: ha
You: i think it is happy, it gives me hope
You: another cool thing about hindu faith
You: it is the oldest religion in the planet
You: and their ancient scriptures talk about a message that was received from the skies to their prophets
You: thru deep meditation
You: the message was that sound of our lives, the sound of life, the sound of the world was OHM
You: ohm
You: this is the sound they received from the sky
You: and that is why they recite this sound in prayer
You: it is the sound of life
You: well
You: surprisingly enough
You: ohm is the sound that the earth, the planet, produces when it spins in its axis
You: when the earth spins in its orbit it produces a deep very little sound
You: that sounds like
You: OHM
Stranger: didn't know that, i'm amazed
You: that got me when i first read it
You: i knew that there was more to this life at that point
You: there is many truths in world religions but there is also lots of distortion
Stranger: have you ever actually felt the "around" you?
You: explain
Stranger: Dave
Stranger: i'll live you now
Stranger: leave
You: ?
You: why
Stranger: showers